What Will Become of Her?

 There were many men who would not drink coffee, yet after a few years of marriage, they became regular coffee consumers. Likewise, there were many women who had never drank a sip of tea, yet after a few years of marriage, they became regular tea drinkers.

There are many other examples that illustrate the manner in which one spouse’s ways, tendencies and habits rub off onto the other. It can be as simple as taste in food, or a little more involved such as developing punctuality and fastidiousness. Nevertheless, the point is evident – spouses have a profound effect on one another, to the point of even altering their habits and ways.

Nikaah – A Fortress from Fitnah

Allah Ta‘ala is the Creator of man, and Allah Ta‘ala understands man the best. Allah Ta‘ala knows all the needs of man, from the biggest and most obvious need, to the smallest and most subtle of needs, and out of His infinite mercy and grace, Allah Ta‘ala has provided for all of man’s needs.

For example, man has the need for food and drink. If man does not eat and drink, he will suffer starvation and dehydration, ultimately leading to his death. Hence, Allah Ta‘ala has provided man with various types of food and drink through which he can fulfill his need. However, when Allah Ta‘ala is most pure, then He made Islam a Deen of purity, and He made Jannah the abode of those who are pure. Hence, when fulfilling his needs, man cannot consume anything and everything, according to his wishes and desires, but may only consume that which is pure and halaal.

The Nursery Rhymes Epidemic: Young Muslim Minds Are at Stake

It’s not just adult Muslims who are addicted to their screens. Young children have started experiencing this problem too, with equally, if not far more, devastating effects. And one of the biggest culprits behind this epidemic is the kids’ animated YouTube channel Cocomelon:

“Cocomelon is so hyperstimulating that it actually acts as a drug, as a stimulant. The brain gets a hit of dopamine from screen-time and it seems that the stronger the ‘drug’ aka the level of stimulation a show delivers, the stronger the ‘hit.’

Stay-At-Home Moms: Ignore All the Noise

By: Umm Khalid (Muslimskeptic.com)

If you are a stay-at-home mom and you are struggling with feelings of worthlessness or insignificance, I completely understand you.

If you feel like you are all alone, stuck at home with the kids, constantly changing diapers; cooking meals which are only half-eaten; always cleaning up messes all over the house; and nursing the baby, you are not alone.

You probably feel like the world is passing you by, while you stay home, barefooted in your pajamas and tending to toddlers, whereas others are out there in “the real world” going to prestigious jobs, earning money and “contributing to society,” and that makes you feel very small.

Drowning - Some causes of our Children loosing their Imaan

Did you know that an adult can drown in just 60 seconds, and a child can drown in just 20 seconds? Did you know that it takes just half a cup of water entering your lungs to cause you to drown? Did you know that in most cases, drownings are silent, without any desperate splashing or shouting for help? Did you know that the majority of drownings occur within 10 meters of safety?

The above statistics probably come as a surprise to most people, but they highlight a crucial point – drowning occurs very quickly, and it is generally due to a brief lapse in the attention of those supervising the children. Thus, experts advise that when children are in water, adults should scan the water every 10 seconds, looking for signs of distress, and should be able to reach a child in trouble within 20 seconds.

The Disgrace of “American Islam” Seen Through the Eyes of a Non-American Muslim

 I was at a park yesterday with a couple friends (other homeschooling moms) and our kids. A fellow Muslim woman passed by where we were sitting and we exchanged salams.

She approached me and asked, “بتحكي عربي؟” (“Do you speak Arabic?”)

“Yes, I’m Egyptian,” I told her in Arabic, shaking her hand and gesturing for her to sit and join us. The rest of the conversation flowed in Arabic, her Jordanian dialect and my Egyptian one. She gave me many important things to think about in this exchange.

She sat down next to me and looked around curiously at the large group of kids playing rowdily around us. “Are these all your children?” she asked.

Wish Well for Your Children!

 16 800 – this is the approximate number of hours that a child will spend in school over the course of twelve years, from grade one to matric.

3000 – this is the approximate number of hours that a child will spend in the maktab madrasah, assuming that the child attends the maktab for six years, five days a week.

Ask almost any practising Muslim adult today as to how he/she learnt to perform wudhu and salaah and recite the Quraan Majeed, or where they learnt the basic Islamic beliefs, masaa-il (rulings) and sunnah du‘aas? The answer will almost certainly be ‘the maktab madrasah’.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words!

On one occasion, Imaam Shaafi‘ee (rahimahullah) came to visit the Muslim ruler, Haaroon Rasheed. Escorting Imaam Shaafi‘ee (rahimahullah) was Siraaj, the attendant of Haaroon Rasheed. (While they waited for Haaroon Rasheed to see them,) Siraaj bade Imaam Shaafi‘ee (rahimahullah) to sit by Abu ‘Abdis Samad, who was the tutor of the children of Haaroon Rasheed.

Siraaj then said to Imaam Shaafi‘ee (rahimahullah), “O Abu ‘Abdillah! These are the children of Ameerul Mu-mineen and he (Abu ‘Abdis Samad) is their tutor. Why do you not give him some advice in regard to their upbringing?”

Imaam Shaafi‘ee (rahimahullah) turned to Abu ‘Abdis Samad, the royal tutor responsible for the upbringing of the ruler’s children, and among the valuable advices which he gave him was the following:

Your Kids Are Always Listening: A Funny Story

 During a car ride the other day, my husband and I were having a conversation as he drove. He recited some lines from an ancient Arabic poem, one of the معلقات (poems hung on the Ka`ba by ancient Arabs of Quraysh). The author, he told me, was a man named القيس, Al-Qays.

It turned into a tangent about ancient Arab names, because I said, “Qays is such a common ancient Arab name. Reminds me of the very common category of names of that time that are in the diminutive form, like حُسَيْن (Husayn, which is the diminutive form of Hasan) or عُمَيْر (`Umayr, diminutive form of Umar).”

My husband added, “Or عُبَيْد, `Ubayd (diminutive form of `Abd) or even the name of the people of قُرَيْش, Quraysh itself (diminutive form of Qarsh).”

Separating Mothers from Newborn Babies: The Ugliness of the Secular-Liberal System

 

As a mother myself, who also currently has an infant right around the same age⁠ of 6 weeks⁠ old, my heart truly aches for this Western mother.

This is a non-Muslim American mother who only just had a baby several weeks ago. She is miserable and frantic with stress, unable to come to terms with the bleak fate that soon awaits her:

Leaving her helpless beloved tiny new baby in daycare so she can go back to work at a paid job. Mom and baby must part ways mere weeks after birth.

This mother’s words of pain and worry could make anyone feel depressed⁠—her infant daughter has been breastfed for all six weeks of her life and does not drink from a bottle. But now, the baby must learn to either accept drinking milk from a bottle or starve. Since the mom is forced to work, the baby is forced to adapt and learn to use a bottle, no longer able to depend on her mother’s breast for sustenance. The mother is sick with anxiety, because whenever she’s tried to give her baby daughter a bottle, she has “gagged, spit up, cried and flailed” every single time. How will this baby eat without her mother?

Digital Cocaine: 10 Reasons to Keep Your Children Away from Screens

I’m a firm believer in a strong no-screen policy for kids.

No TV. No iPhone. No iPad. No laptop.

No screens of any kind, especially before the age of 2.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents “place a reasonable limit on entertainment media” and not allow any screen time for children under 2. Despite these recommendations, however, according to a 2010 study by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, kids between the ages of 8 and 18 spend around 7½ hours using entertainment media per day:

A national survey by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that with technology allowing nearly 24-hour media access as children and teens go about their daily lives, the amount of time young people spend with entertainment media has risen dramatically, especially among minority youth. Today, 8-18 year-olds devote an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes (7:38) to using entertainment media across a typical day (more than 53 hours a week). And because they spend so much of that time ‘media multitasking’ (using more than one medium at a time), they actually manage to pack a total of 10 hours and 45 minutes (10:45) worth of media content into those 7.

That is a lot of time being spent in front of a screen. And for this reason, I know that, in the current day and age, my no-screen stance may perhaps seem very odd. But I’m good with that. (Partially because, alhamdulillah, as a kid I myself grew up without TV.)

You may be asking yourself right about now:

Well, what exactly is so bad about screens?

So, let’s explore exactly that.

1. Decreased Attention Span

Screens provide fast-paced flashing images, which is correlated with shorter attention spans. Continuous exposure to such flashing images continuously erodes the attention span of children.

And then we see rising rates of ADHD diagnoses.

2. Less Reading

Screens end up becoming the primary source of entertainment, such that the more sedate forms like reading, drawing, writing, puzzles, etc., become boring in comparison.

TV presents an exciting extravaganza of lights and sounds. Books just remain still.

Why bother reading a book when it requires the child to use their imagination and expend their the mental energy in order to conjure up images in their minds of the story being read? Instead, the child can just sit back and watch as images that have been created for them parade themselves across a screen?

Reading thus becomes arduous and taxing in comparison.

TV is so much easier. Being active is now like a chore.

The Importance of Playing with Your Children

Play with your children.

I know you’re busy, and also tired, and likely grumpy, and often stressed, and probably sleep deprived. Parents usually are all of the above, including me.

But your kids need your attention, your active, loving, concentrated, playful attention, in small but daily doses.

Play translates to love.

Children learn best through play, and they also bond through play. When you play with your children, you show them that their parents are accessible, reachable, receptive. They feel loved, cared for, excited, stimulated. Their eyes sparkle with mischief and their hearts race with exhilaration and their cognitive ability generally improves. Some of the best memories of our childhood include memories of playing with our parents.

Play is not a luxury for children. It’s a necessity.

So play with them! Here are some quick, easy ideas:

Make silly faces.

Chase them around the room/ house.

Say nonsense made-up words. Repeatedly.

Catch them and tickle them.

Create ridiculous fictional characters for you and them to be.

Pretend to be a baby and have your baby be your mama/baba. Be a terribly annoying baby. (Payback time! 

Wrestle with them.

Have a pillow / stuffed-animal fight.

Make up implausible stories.

These are some of the favorites at our house. What kinds of silly games do your kids love?

By:Umm Khalid (MuslimSkeptic)

🏠HOLIDAYS CAN BE REAL FUN!!!

Some ways of making your kids vacation more fun & rewarding…

By Umm Ammarah

Dad what can I do next???...Mum I'm BORED!!!  For parents vacations can be really demanding keeping our children occupied. Vacations pose a great challenge for many parents. However holidays can be great fun if parents are positive, creative and interactive. Also during the vacation there is a good opportunity to recharge our kid's spiritual batteries and start afresh in daily activities. It is a joyous period and a unique break from our busy schedules. We should welcome vacations for its fun.

The excitement surrounding vacations and family trips usually kicks off with strong excitement. However, after only a short time away from the daily routines of school, one phrase parents dread hearing begins to creep into the language of children almost instinctively: "I'M BORED"!

THE POST EXAM PERIOD

By Abu Muhammad Yusuf

Our children are a trust given to us by Allah Ta'ala. Depending on the upbringing we give them, we may nurture them to be morally good and upright persons or if they are just left uncared and untrained they may become innocent victims of the environment we are living in and left to become morally bereft.

There is a great responsibility that has to be borne by both parents and guardians.

Allah Ta'ala says :"O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from the fire.." 

(Quran-Surah 66 -6)

The Noble Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said :"Lo! All of you are leaders and shall be questioned on the day of Judgement in respect of your trust. So, the king is head unto his subjects and shall be question in respect of them, the husband is a head unto his wife and shall be questioned in respect of her, the wife is a head unto her husband's house and the children, and shall be questioned in respect of them all; the slave is-a watchman unto his master's effects and shall be questioned in respect of those. So you all shepherds and you shall be questioned in respect of that entrusted to you." (Bukhari - Muslim)

An Earnest Appeal to Parents 

Seven Moral Values to Teach our Children

As schools will open soon, learning will restart. Our children will learn certain things in their classrooms. However, our responsibility to teach does not end with dropping off the child at the school gates. In the home, parents have to set a good example in their conduct and realise that children are good observers of their actions. Parents have to be keen in making sure that their children grow up with sound moral values and not influenced by negative traits picked up here and there along the way and from amongst peers.

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam is reported to have said: Allah Ta’aala will ask every caretaker about the people under his care, and the man will be asked about the people of his household .” (Nasa’i and Abu Da’ud) 

Good upbringing of children in our care is a responsibility and teaching of manners is central to it.

A famous saying of Abdullah bin al-Mubarak (Rahmatullahi Alaih) goes: “I spent thirty years learning manners, and I spent twenty years learning knowledge.” In no particular order of importance, below are a selected seven moral values that we can bequeath to our children, yielding returns without measure, insha-Allah.

10 Examples of How Rasulullah (ﷺ) Treated Children

The sunnah contains many examples of how Rasulullah (ﷺ) dealt with children.

Why is this important? Because he’s our uswah, our role-model, our example to follow. Many of his companions met him once or twice, saw him doing something once or twice, and as a result, would keep doing that thing until they died. Not because he told them to, but because they loved him, and sought to follow him as much as possible.

We should also try and follow him as much as we can.

On to the examples.

Anas ibn Malik’s Ten Years of Service

I served the Prophet for ten years, I lived with him for ten years and not once did he rebuke me. Not once did the word “uff” come from his mouth. He never said to me, “why did you do this?” or “why didn’t you do that?” : (Bukhari 5691,Muslim 2309)

Anas ibn Malik was a well known scholar among the sahaba. His mother gifted him to Rasulullah (ﷺ) while he was a young child, in order to give him the best possible upbringing and Islamic education.

THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

In the faint light of the attic, an old man, tall and stooped, bent his great frame and made his way to a stack of boxes that sat near one of the little half-windows. Brushing aside a wisp of cobwebs, he tilted the top box toward the light and began to carefully lift out one old photograph album after another. Eyes once bright but now dim searched longingly for the source that had drawn him here.

It began with the fond recollection of the love of his life, long gone, and somewhere in these albums was a photo of her he hoped to rediscover. Silent as a mouse, he patiently opened the long buried treasures and soon was lost in a sea of memories. Although his world had not stopped spinning when his wife left it, the past was more alive in his heart than his present aloneness.

Setting aside one of the dusty albums, he pulled from the box what appeared to be a journal from his grown son's childhood. He could not recall ever having seen it before, or that his son had ever kept a journal. Why did his wife always save the children's old junk? He wondered, shaking his white head.

Maktab/Madressa Resources

 As salaamu alaikum Warahmatulaahi Wabarakaatuhu. 

Below is an excellent list of information for Maktab/Madrasah teachers and for those who want to teach or learn the basics of Islam. Also included is the pdf of the full syllabus. 

May Allah Ta'ala reward those who put this website together, abundantly, Ameen.

Newsletters and Posters for Maktabs

http://talimiboardkzn.org/?page_id=654

Maktab Worksheets

http://talimiboardkzn.org/?page_id=964#tab-f8d4f80f979015d48d6

Maktab and other Documents/Forms

THE KIDS WOULD HAVE KNOWN THE DIFFERENCE!

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon. My friend was taking his two little boys to play miniature golf. He walked up to the fellow at the ticket counter and said, “How much is the ticket to get in?”

The young man replied, “$3.00 for adults and $3.00 for any kid who is older than six years. We let them in free if they are six years or younger. How old are they?”

My friend replied, “One is three years and the other is seven, so I guess I owe you $6.00.”

The man at the ticket counter said, “Hey, Mister, did you just win the lottery or something? You could have saved yourself three bucks. You could have told me that the older one was six; I wouldn’t have known the difference.”

MOTHERHOOD

 …‘If women hold on to their front, the entire army will succeed. If they leave it for “greater action” elsewhere, everyone will lose…’

By Khalid Baig

In April President Clinton gathered an army of former presidents, state governors, city mayors and hundreds of prominent people from all 50 states to address one of the most pressing problems facing America today. He brought former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Colin Powell, to lead this army. Their task: Solve the problem of 15 million young Americans who are considered at-risk youth. “They are at risk of growing up unskilled, unlearned, or, even worse, unloved,” said Powell, who was appointed chairman of President’s Summit for America’s Future. The problem has “ the potential to explode our society,” he warned.