While all these qualities, such as education, health, etc. are undoubtedly important, they are not the main qualities required for the prosperity of the child. Rather, the two main qualities required for the child to prosper in this life and in the afterlife, have been described by Wahb bin Munabbih (rahimahullah). He once said, “When a young child possesses two qualities, there will be hope for him to be rightly-guided (i.e. in this world and the next) – (the two qualities are) hayaa (shame) and fear (of Allah Ta‘ala).” (Hilyatul Awliyaa vol. 3, pg. 181)
Unfortunately, and most frighteningly, one of the single greatest dangers to the prosperity of our children in this day and age is the scourge of pornography.
In the year 2006, a study was conducted regarding the exposure of children to pornographic content. At the time (approximately 17 years ago), the main reason for a child to access the internet was for assistance with homework and school assignments (not Instagram, TikTok, etc. as even Facebook was in its infancy at that time). The study made the following findings (among others):
- According to a UK survey of children exposed to porn on the internet, 38% were exposed to porn through “pop-ups” while doing something else, 36% accidentally found themselves on a pornographic website when looking for something else and 25% received pornographic junk mail by e-mail.
- In the US, it was discovered that 73% of children were exposed to porn while merely surfing the internet.
- In France, it was found that nearly 50% of children had been exposed to porn by the age of 11.
It should be borne in mind that the above statistics are VERY outdated, and hence the figures for the present day will undoubtedly be far worse, especially since almost every child now has their own phone and uncapped WiFi at home. Hence, current studies show that at present, the average age by which a child is first exposed to pornographic material is as low as 8!
Furthermore, these stats (reproduced above) only represent the children who were accidentally exposed. If those who deliberately searched for this content are accounted for, the figures will be even higher.
It should be borne in mind that even before children are exposed to hardcore pornographic content, they are exposed to hypersexualized, shameless, lewd material, in the form of novels, movies, cartoons, etc. that begin to erode their hayaa (modesty) and weaken their taqwa (awareness of Allah Ta‘ala). Attending non-Muslim schools where using urinals and communal showers is the norm, and associating with bad company who openly discuss zina, also has the same effect.
Thus, since they have already become partially desensitized to filth and shamelessness, when they see pornography for the first time (often through a friend’s influence or on a friend’s phone), they may react with curiosity or excitement instead of showing the revulsion, disgust and shame that is a requisite of imaan and hayaa.
This scourge of pornography has spared almost nobody and has left practically no one untouched. Male and female, young and old, married and unmarried – all are drowning in porn addiction, due to which this disaster has been aptly named a ‘Porndemic’. This Porndemic is far worse than any pandemic, and has been identified as a major catalyst behind many cases of rape, incest, failed marriages and other more disturbing problems which are better left unmentioned.
When a young child develops a taste for porn, he will continue to view it, again and again, further cementing and entrenching the addiction. They also become even more attached with the source of the material – the internet, and the device through which it is accessed – the phone.
Many Muslim youth seeking guidance – boys and girls alike – have mentioned that it was due to their parents trusting them and not supervising and monitoring their use of the internet that they fell into porn and subsequently developed a serious masturbation addiction.
Porn and masturbation, as addictions, do not subside, but become worse with time. Just as a drug-user progresses to harder drugs, the porn-viewer will gradually progress to zina, visiting brothels, calling escorts, etc.
Even when the child later on marries and tries to settle down, the ill-effects of the long hours spent watching pornography plague him/her. They have unrealistic or haraam expectations in the bedroom, and this often culminates in a talaaq.
This topic is one that is difficult and shameful to discuss, but due to the overwhelming number of pornography and masturbation cases among the youth (and even the old and married) that the ‘Ulama are now dealing with, it is unfortunately necessary to shed some light on it.
As parents, we MUST be vigilant regarding our children. Every child who got involved in this sin had enjoyed the trust of his parents, and it was this blind trust that allowed him the leeway to fall into sin.
If we wish for our children to prosper in this world, and enjoy happy marriages, and prosper in the next world as well, then we must ensure that they do not have uncontrolled and unmonitored access to the cell phone and internet. Such is the danger of the internet that one single glance at haraam – even if fleeting and accidental – can poison the heart, pollute the mind, ignite the flame of lust and lead one to set out on his journey to Jahannam.
May Allah Ta‘ala save us and our progenies from this scourge, aameen.