Imagine confiding in your best friend and revealing your deepest, darkest secret to her. However, to your utter dismay and horror, she then proceeds to broadcast your secret to all of society! How would you feel and what would your reaction be?
In all probability, you would feel mortified (extremely embarrassed) and would regard your ‘friend’ to be a backstabber. You would never again trust her and would be reluctant to even remain friends with her.
In this regard, one of the most important and serious secrets and trusts which should never ever be betrayed or revealed is the secret and trust of “bedroom secrets”.
Abu Sa‘eed Khudri (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Indeed the greatest (betrayal of a) trust and secret in the sight of Allah Ta‘ala on the Day of Qiyaamah is (the betrayal) of a man who is intimate with his wife, and she is intimate with him, and he thereafter reveals her secret.” (Saheeh Muslim #3543)
In this hadeeth, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has clearly explained that ‘what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom’. Neither spouse should ever reveal their private, intimate relations to any person, nor even describe one another in any way. In fact, the demand of shame and hayaa is that we completely refrain from discussing this topic unnecessarily, even if we avoid describing our own intimacy.
Unfortunately, many people are lax in this regard. Sometimes, they speak in jest and joke about a bedroom experience, betraying the trust in the process. However, even worse are the cases where the newly-wed bride is interrogated by her friends and cousins to describe how her first night went. In certain instances, she may even be pressurized to describe her husband’s body before all! This is undoubtedly the pinnacle of perversion and disgusting behavior and is absolutely impermissible. Only an utterly shameless person can stoop so low!
Finally, the secrets of the bedroom have been declared a trust in the sight of Allah Ta‘ala. Hence, even if one’s spouse has lost their hayaa and apparently ‘doesn’t mind’ their intimate moments being discussed, it is still impermissible and a severe sin to do so.
May Allah Ta‘ala assist us all to understand the seriousness of this trust and protect us from violating and betraying it, aameen.