There is no true English definition of the word ‘Hayaa’ but the closest one can get to it is shame, modesty, and bashfulness. Hayaa is an essential characteristic of a Muslim; it must be obtained in order to attain faith as they come together as a pair:
Abdullah ibn Umar (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said, “Indeed Hayaa and Iman are companions. When one of them is lifted, the other leaves as well.”
Ibn Al-Qayyim is reported to have said that the moral character of a person is determined by how much Hayaa his heart possesses. Clearly, we find that the greater the humility and modesty is of a person, the further they will stay away from sins and the better-mannered the individual will be.
In the world around us we can see the rapid deterioration of Hayaa amongst Muslims and non-Muslims which is having an adverse effect on the next generation as many previous indecent practices have now become the norm. This snowball effect of losing more and more Hayaa as the generations go past is a terrifying prospect, especially because personally, I already feel sickened at the state of people. Who knows what kind of world my children and their children will abide in?
There is much information available on Hayaa and so what I want to explore are the aspects of Hayaa that we sometimes forget about. When you ask people what Hayaa means, they normally link it to the female gender and what a person wears, but there are many more aspects of Hayaa that we either fail to realize or fail to implement. I’m going to cover 6 different aspects of Hayaa which I feel encompass the overall gist of what Hayaa’ should be. Insha’Allah, the following advice is as much for me as it is for everyone else.
1) HAYAA’ IN WHAT WE WATCH/ SEE/ LOOK AT
Television has become a part of the majority of certain muslims lives and through this medium we are exposed to anything and everything. There is so much filth on television ranging from nudity and obscenity to subtle indecency through sitcoms and films. Watching such material slowly erodes our sense of morality and shame. One of the most shameless aspects of television is the half-naked men and women – be it in films, programmes or even in adverts. We should not expose our eyes to such things because of the effects they can have.
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts…and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husband’s sons, their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their women…” {Surah An Nur 24: Verse 30-31}
2) HAYAA’ IN WHAT WE SAY
I have seen a lack of Hayaa primarily when we joke around with friends as we tend to feel most comfortable and free at this time and so lose a sense of modesty. We can joke about indecent things, mostly regarding the opposite gender in some way or another, and although fuelled by the environment and media that are around us, we become a product of our society by spreading lewd talk amongst society.
Swearing can also form a part of our conversations. It is self-explanatory why swearing is indecent and thus contradictory to having Hayaa. Gossiping is very similar; for some reason, we humans love to gossip, even if it is with no ill intent to defame anyone. We tend to always discuss other people and what is going on in their lives with such curiosity. This is a dangerous practice and can quickly fall into backbiting, so it is best to stay away from it. If a person had a high level of shame and modesty, they would not gossip about other people and so it should not be something we as Muslims do.
3) HAYAA’ IN HOW WE TREAT OTHERS
Sometimes we can get angry, become rude, and even be judgmental. Our attitude and way of speaking is a fundamental part of Hayaa because the way in which we communicate and treat people is a sign of the kind of person we are and thus the level of Hayaa we have. It is not difficult to understand that a good person would treat others with utmost respect at all times, unless in exceptional situations, and be well-mannered and polite. Yet, how many times have we suffered from regret because of how we spoke to someone? It is time we change our manner and emulate the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) who was always a kind and gentle man. It is through this change that the society around may also have the potential to transform.
In Sahih Muslim, it is reported that our beloved Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said, “Do not think little of any good deed, even if it is just greeting your brother with a cheerful countenance.” (Muslim)
4) HAYAA’ IN THE FRIENDS WE CHOOSE
It makes sense that a person with Hayaa’ and is a God-fearing moral human will choose to be around people of good faith and character as it is with these people they will feel most at peace. Companions that behave in a way that is improper will undoubtedly bring about discomfort to this person and so they will distance themselves from such a group.
Similarly, one that has Hayaa will not be able to feel at ease around those who are Non-Mahram for them because it is wrong to be friendly with the opposite gender and so a sign of modesty is having nothing more than a professional and polite relationship with all those who are Non-Mahram to us.
5) HAYAA’ IN THE PLACES WE FREQUENT
To have Hayaa means to dislike everything that is wrong according to Islam, so even if we may not be committing wrong ourselves, if there is immorality around us, we should feel the repugnance in our hearts when around such places.
We are much more exposed to these environments in the West, compared to most of the Muslim world, with places such as bars, pubs, nightclubs and beaches.
6) HAYAA’ IN WHAT WE DO
The highest amount of Hayaa is when we refrain from committing any sin out of humiliation and guilt in front of Allah. One that has such levels of Iman and Ihsan will, out of worship and fear for Allah (glory and exalted be He), abandon all sins whether committed in public or in private. They simply won’t be able to bring themselves to commit sin, and if they do, they will sincerely regret it. This is the level that we should all try to attain.
One that has Hayaa in front of people will avoid sinning in public and boasting of his sins to people. But this Hayaa will only provide external righteousness; to obtain internal righteousness, one must also feel regret when sinning, even and especially in private, and try to abandon all Haram out of shame in front of Allah.